"BJ Banking" or "Writing is Easier When Other People Do It For You"

Sorry the posts have been so sparse recently but it's not like I'm getting paid for this so what did you expect? Seriously.
I've got a ton of topics coming up so expect a post a day for the next week but I wanted to kick off this smorgasbord of delicious diction with a guest spot, the first in Potential-E-Wasted's short history. I know you were all expecting to here from DoJ but apparently he has decided that the most appropriate forum for his writing is Facebook (Seriously, dude writes paragraphs in his status updates, maybe it's sour grapes but I hate that shit) so instead I bring you the misogynistic musings of Mr. Todd.
My friend D on Shallowhags has repeatedly spoken from the view that happy and contended people make boring bloggers and Mr. Todd proves this point. Kid is just f-ing angry, half of the time I don't think he even knows why, It sure makes for some interesting reading though. With out further ado Here's Mr. Todd to kick off the week.


Relationships are all about compromise.

You have to learn each other’s boundaries, when it’s (in)appropriate to cross them, and that you have to give a little in order to get a lot. And when it’s someone that you truly care about, the simple act of giving can be its own reward in and of itself. All non-sociopaths understand this (unless they are true genius sociopaths in which case they may learn to imitate normal human behavior in order to carry out their nefarious plots). (Ed: Shit, he's on to me)
With regards to relationships, I am a giver. To be honest, being a giver is something that I enjoy without expectation. It can be its own prize. That does not mean, however, that this squirrel doesn’t like to get his nut from time to time. I am speaking of course about blow-jobs. (Ed: Of course.)
When a man does his best to please a woman day-in day-out (and does it well I might add), where does all that pleasure go? (Ed: Good Question)
I’ll tell you where it should go: the Blow-Job Bank. Every time a man goes out of his way to make sure that his woman is satisfied and demonstrates he’s willing to go that extra mile, he’s making a donation to the Blow-Job Bank’s 401k plan.
Women would do well to keep track of the savings in the Blow-Job Bank, as her man may wish to dip into them from time to time. For example, it is only fair that, when a woman is unable to receive sexual favors say during a certain disturbing time of the month, she order the cockmeat sandwich. (Ed: The best way I can think of avoiding a blow job would be by referring to it as a cockmeat sandwich)
Just because she’s bleeding all over the furniture doesn’t mean that we both need to suffer. As far as I’m concerned menstruation is myth created by Nazi-feminists to prevent us from blowing loads. The day that my dick starts to bleed, I vow to go down on her for hours. Fair is fair.Until that day, however, we men should be entitled to withdraw from the Blow-Job Bank at will. Unless of course, she prefers the butt.
-Mr. Todd

Potential-E-Wasted would like to remind all of our readers that the opinions expressed by our guest columnists are their opinions alone, and in no way represent the position of this blog or its' staff. Unless of course your really do prefer the butt. Then we (and our staff) are down.

-T