Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"Muse is Freakin' Awesome" or "The Law of T-Shirt Relativity and Oher Life Lessons"
So, The GLW and I attended the Muse & Silversun Pickups concert last night and while the show itself was fantastic the performance of many of the concert goers left a lot to be desired.
Of course I am speaking of the douche-tastic attendees who think it's really cool to go to a concert, purchase a t-shirt and then change into said t-shirt for the duration of the concert. Lame.
Seriously do they think anyone cares that they bought a fucking T-shirt? Why did they change into it? I cant think of a single good reason to change clothes at the Oracle Arena. Unless of course they spilled a 12 dollar beer all over their American Apparel V-neck.
This issue falls under a little rule I like to refer to as the law of T-shirt space-time relativity. That is: the further you get in both space and time from the purchase of item of band (or place) related paraphernalia the cooler it gets. I'll give you an example: 2 years ago when I was in Prague I purchased a Praha Drinking Team shirt. Anyone who has ever been to Prague knows exactly what I am talking about. The shirts have a picture of the Czech flag emblazoned with an artists rendering of a mug of frothy Beer, framed by the script "Praha Drinking Team". After purchasing the shirt I immediately stowed it in my suitcase knowing that the further I got, in both space and time, from my purchase of that shirt the cooler it would become. Two years later on the other side of the fucking world? That shirt is dynamite.
This rule applies to sports teams, cities and yes, even bands. So the 19 year old alt rock enthusiast hurriedly changing clothes 10 feet away from the souvenir kiosk at Oracle five minutes after purchasing his shirt and surrounded by his pretentious posse who bought and are also wearing said shirt?
You just paid 30 dollars to look like a flaccid dong. Or even worse, an unremarkable flaccid dong in a sea of flaccid dongs.
The only people worse are the jackasses wearing the opening band's shirts and looking all superior and shit because they think it means they have more refined tastes, telling anyone who'll listen that they "actually enjoyed the opening band better, cause it was more about the music..." Fuck, that pisses me off, I can just picture them now, closing their eyes as they rhapsodize the merits of local music and tofu. Bleh. You dick heads are at the Oracle Fucking Arena not some hole in the wall jazz club. Go fuck yourselves.
I just can't see the logic behind it.
In any case it has made me want to design a T-shirt, strictly for concert attendance, It would read "Don't be a Douche, put you're Tshirt on at home."
So there, T's back handing out life lessons from atop my pillar of un-impugnable perfection, I'll try to post more frequently.
-T
PS Since when does a McDonald's with a 24hr drive through stop accepting Credit Cards at Midnight? BULLSHIT, lazy ass fast-food workers just didn't want to make me a fucking Cheeseburger. That shit sucks and it's not like you can complain, those crack-heads would just take a dump in my Diet-Coke or something.
Of course I am speaking of the douche-tastic attendees who think it's really cool to go to a concert, purchase a t-shirt and then change into said t-shirt for the duration of the concert. Lame.
Seriously do they think anyone cares that they bought a fucking T-shirt? Why did they change into it? I cant think of a single good reason to change clothes at the Oracle Arena. Unless of course they spilled a 12 dollar beer all over their American Apparel V-neck.
This issue falls under a little rule I like to refer to as the law of T-shirt space-time relativity. That is: the further you get in both space and time from the purchase of item of band (or place) related paraphernalia the cooler it gets. I'll give you an example: 2 years ago when I was in Prague I purchased a Praha Drinking Team shirt. Anyone who has ever been to Prague knows exactly what I am talking about. The shirts have a picture of the Czech flag emblazoned with an artists rendering of a mug of frothy Beer, framed by the script "Praha Drinking Team". After purchasing the shirt I immediately stowed it in my suitcase knowing that the further I got, in both space and time, from my purchase of that shirt the cooler it would become. Two years later on the other side of the fucking world? That shirt is dynamite.
This rule applies to sports teams, cities and yes, even bands. So the 19 year old alt rock enthusiast hurriedly changing clothes 10 feet away from the souvenir kiosk at Oracle five minutes after purchasing his shirt and surrounded by his pretentious posse who bought and are also wearing said shirt?
You just paid 30 dollars to look like a flaccid dong. Or even worse, an unremarkable flaccid dong in a sea of flaccid dongs.
The only people worse are the jackasses wearing the opening band's shirts and looking all superior and shit because they think it means they have more refined tastes, telling anyone who'll listen that they "actually enjoyed the opening band better, cause it was more about the music..." Fuck, that pisses me off, I can just picture them now, closing their eyes as they rhapsodize the merits of local music and tofu. Bleh. You dick heads are at the Oracle Fucking Arena not some hole in the wall jazz club. Go fuck yourselves.
I just can't see the logic behind it.
In any case it has made me want to design a T-shirt, strictly for concert attendance, It would read "Don't be a Douche, put you're Tshirt on at home."
So there, T's back handing out life lessons from atop my pillar of un-impugnable perfection, I'll try to post more frequently.
-T
PS Since when does a McDonald's with a 24hr drive through stop accepting Credit Cards at Midnight? BULLSHIT, lazy ass fast-food workers just didn't want to make me a fucking Cheeseburger. That shit sucks and it's not like you can complain, those crack-heads would just take a dump in my Diet-Coke or something.
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