"Pervert in a Prius" or "The Ultimate Awareness Aid"

http://www.thisislincolnshire.co.uk/news/Driver-caught-pleasuring-wheel-faces-jail-sentence/article-2405643-detail/article.html
Driver showed women his penis and pleasured himself while travelling at 55mph

Glenn Flello.
A MASTURBATING motorist who drove alongside a woman driver on the A46 is facing jail.
In addition to distressing the motorist on the A46 south of Lincoln, Glenn Flello, 28, also deliberately pleasured himself in front of four teenage girls on three occasions while driving in the Market Rasen area.
Yesterday at Lincoln Magistrates' Court, he pleaded guilty to four charges of intentionally exposing his genitals.
Prosecuting, Marie Stace said Flello's lewd behaviour on the A46 took place between Winthorpe roundabout near Newark and Swinderby roundabout at around 5.50pm on March 18.

Reading from the victim's police statement, Miss Stace told the court: "I was travelling at approximately 55 miles per hour when the male raised his bottom from the driver's seat and had his hands around his erect penis.
"He was looking at me and it shook me up and made me angry.
"He beeped his horn constantly and I also had the sensation that his car was edging closer to me and he was still carrying out the same actions as before.
"I was not only disgusted because he was grinning right at me but I did not know he had control of his vehicle."

"I heard a beeping and a man flashing," Miss Stace read from the girl's witness statement.
"I saw he had his left hand on his penis and his right hand on the wheel."
On December 11, two teenage girls were walking along Caistor Road in Market Rasen at around 6pm.
They reported that they saw a man masturbating in his car.
"His penis was quite big and erect and I felt sick and shook up," Miss Stace read from one of the girl's witness statements.

Really dude? Wait till you get home. You've got to marvel at this guy's thought process though. One day he was probably driving along minding his own buisness and suddenly his pants got a little shorter. No real reason, sometimes that thing has a mind of its' own. Maybe he gave it a smack; you know "Act right You Bastard I'm driving" sort of thing.
Maybe he enjoyed it a little more than he intended. Maybe nobody noticed.
Suddenly dude is on a slippery slope and things got out of hand (or in hand whatever)

Point is no one, I don't care how sick or depraved, wakes up one morning and intentionally sets out to wax weasel in mid-morning traffic. Maybe I'm being naive but I just can't see it. There has to be something we're not hearing here. There just have to be some mitigating circumstances.
The only excuse for pounding the porpise while driving I can think of is if you're on a really long drive and you feel like you're going to fall asleep. Not just drowsy I mean passing out at the wheel status.
You know why?
The one thing no guy has ever fallen asleep doing: shimmying the salami.
Scientific Fact.

So ladies ask yourself: would you rather Glenn here fell asleep at the wheel, swerved into oncoming traffic and killed 48 schoolchildren on there way to adopt puppies? Or would you rather he take the law, among other things, into his own hands in the interest of public saftey?
Remember if those schoolchildren don't get to the pound all of those puppies are going to be put down as they are suffering from emotional neglect and it would be the only humane thing to do.

So what's your choice? That's what I thought.

On a more serious note did it sound like the woman who gave the last statement was kind of in to it? Sick and shook up huh? More like hot and bothered!

Just kidding of couse, on all of this. Except for the staying awake thing it's quite a "handy trick" if you're on a "long haul".
-T

Potential-e-Wasted does not advocate public masturbation. Unless in circumstances previously okayed by Penthouse Forum.

Posts are coming.

I know I'm not good enough to tease you with a trailer post like this but whatever. It's not like I'm getting paid for this shit.

Anyway, no story short I've been busy and lazy and bored (no those are not in any way contradictory) and that unholy trifecta has kept me from spilling my nonsense garbage into your web browsers. Pathetic excuse for an excuse I know but no more!

I refuse to be mastered by my ennui! It is a silly French word that I want nothing to do with so as soon as I think of something half worth writing about I'm going to be all over it. There's plenty of shit going on in the world right now that I find sufficiently disgusting/ outrageous for me to rant about.

I'll give you something interesting tomorrow. Or I wont.

But I will.

Bate your Breath Bitches, Bate your Breath.
-T